28 February 2009

New Pathways

The thing about dealing with something hard is that it is possible to move through it. While we have not given up on baby o coming from Kyrgyzstan. We are now both open to other possibilities..... domestic adoption and even still trying again to get pregnant. And this means our world is open on where and when baby o will come. I do have to get into a new mind set for many possibilities to be open. The thing I do know I want to do is explore other pathways.

We will leave things in place in Kyrgyzstan, our dossier is approved, so we wait and see if it does open again and under what conditions. If not we will switch to Kazakhstan. And since International Adoption is so out of our control, we will do a little exploring on the domestic side and just be open to which happens first.

I'm actually feeling much better now that I have moved through the dead-end I let myself put up. The dead-end was caught in an idea of exactly how it would happen. Why do we like to feel like have to know exactly every detail. Unknowing is hard. And the truth is, the world has vast possibilities and "she" or "he" is out there. I just know it!

13 February 2009


I remember last year on Valentine's Day I mailed in our application to commit to our agency. We had been thinking about adoption for awhile but that was the day I really committed. Well one year later we are still waiting and Kyrgyzstan still has not re-opened. It doesn't seem hopeless but every month we hear that the next month looks positive. It is so frustrating!

I have recently starting looking into changing countries, I mean how long can I really wait? I had opted to do adoption over fertility treatments, even thought my chances of the fertility route looked really good. I guess I should say both my husband and I really WANTED to adopt and felt like that was the right option for us. BUT boy government does NOT make it easy. I am so frustrated! I already say that, but I think it deserves a second mention. Ahhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrgh!****

What to do.....what to do???

I really don't feel like doing another stack of 12" of paperwork or getting mentally prepared to adopt from another country or writing more checks. If we switch we would probably stay in Central Asia and move to Kazakhstan. Any thoughts from you all is appreciated.

The rain is pouring down tonight in Northern California, it is comforting and cozy all at once. I do look forward to more tangible movement in this journey to parenthood.

Maybe NEXT month?