16 June 2009

Cloud Street

How did it get to be June? This is an actual photo of a cloud formation called 'cloud streets' which are rows of cumulus or cumulus-type clouds aligned parallel to the low-level wind. Unreal? No real.

I picked this photo because a 'street' is a pathway, a road to follow. + Skies have always given me the simplest comfort knowing there is such a simple beauty on any day we breath air. Just look up, in light or dark there is always something there with you. I also love their ethereal glow that comes even in a dark sky or through a back lit cloud. The sky truly holds god's light.

On our road to have a child I have explored, well everything....well almost.

Each time a new decision is explored I see my emotional system getting in a new line. And then looking back at my past decision and seeing it fade.

I will say one thing that with Kyrgyzstan being closed till at least February 2010, I have kind of let International Adoption go for now. We are still inline, but our fingerprints just expired. We can pay again if something seems hopeful but I just couldn't march down to the office to get them reprinted. Besides I also had a bad gardening accident and don't think they would have taken my prints now anyway.

I have learned so much about myself in this journey to create a family.

With this emotional roller coaster I will say that I do not judge anyone on their pathway to having or wanting a child, or for that matter to choice to not have children. There are so many things that come into play that can make me sway one way or another. I have made decisions that I thought I would never make and then they fade away and another door opens. The thought I still have despite all the many pathways I have been down, is to be open to that special child to come into our lives.

I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, this is a spiritual journey. I am open. I love the sky. I am present.
I also know I am being abstract and ethereal, but what ya gonna do?